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Archive for September, 2009

Today I put my name on our office-door. We have this wonderful tool at work that makes any name tag you’d like. It’s almost like a mini computer. You write whatever you like and then it prints it out like a piece of tape that you can glue on to for example a door. Amazing!

I put a nice frame around my name and placed a heart at the end. After I’d glued it on the door I realized that it was the biggest name there + it had a heart on it!!

To ease the regrets I felt over this I forced the new girl, Hanna, to write her name even bigger than mine (though, she did not put a heart after her’s). So now my name isn’t as visible anymore.

And Hanna is the one feeling bad.

I’m just feeling a little bit bad for doing this to her… But just a little bit. I would have liked her to put a star after her name but she didn’t. She is after all 29 and has already passed the heart/star stage of a 27 year old.

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There are some rules when it comes to watching TV. The most important one being: All great shows air at impossible hours.

This is a rule with some modifications. Because great shows will always find their way to the masses (meaning: they will all, at some point, start to air at 9pm).

So the rule should be: Only watch shows that have been upgraded from say 11pm on a Friday evening to 9pm on a Thursday.

This is a terrific rule when you want to distinguish between all the CSI replicas out there.

You should therefore watch:

– NCIS. Navy CSI but so much more. It has personality. It has a goth. And it did not start to air at humane hours until they had killed off the first female investigator. Yes, it is true, the Mossad agent has not always been there! (Can I just say that those in charge of the Finnish television are total idiots!)

ncis_cast_main

– Bones. Also a show that has strong CSI connection – but again, is so much more. It has personality. It wants to connect with the nerd inside of you. And it has also been upgraded from 12 to 9 o’clock on Saturday nights.

bones

And finally, a show that still airs at 22.30 on regular Thursday evenings is The Closer. Also very much like CSI. But here you have a cat, a big handbag and a very feminine way of always having a bad conscience about something or another. (Although I do admit that all the episodes share the same pattern: Bad guy won’t talk, boss gets epiphany about the case from her everyday life, boss goes into the interrogation room, boss gets bad guy to confess)

closerset

AND, what do all these shows have in common?? All the investigating groups are  led by females. This might be a subconscious trigger for me…

The rule is then updated: Always watch shows that have aired at inhumane hours AND where the boss is played by a woman!

There you go – you can stop zapping.

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50% blod och 50% öl

You mix some cow blood with an equal amount of beer.

och så mjöl

Then you add the flour, salt and some butter.

My mother’s comment: Don’t eat too much, you might get sick!

My grandmother – she started laughing. And then she told my mother that, in the old days, you had to boil the bread before you ate it because it was so hard.

My colleague’s comment: Well, at least you don’t show any prejudice.

och så här rött blir det

And it’s actually not that good. But it got better when you ate it like my grandmother said you should – “with butter”. It’s like eating your steak “with potato”

So now I’m drying the loaves in the fridge, trying to get them so hard that I have to boil them before eating.

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blod

Yes, it is blood!

At Citymarket you can get half a liter of blood to make, for example, the highly recommended “blood-bread”.

To make this bread you need: 0,5l blood, 0,5l beer, 30g yeast, 1dl melted butter, 1,5tbsp salt, rye flour and barley flour (kornmjöl)

Mix, let rise for 1 hour, and bake at 225 degrees Celsius for 15-20min.

My question is; can you actually store this bread at room temperature??

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Heard on the train

(Hmm, this might not sound as funny as it would if you’d heard it yourselves.)

I was going to read some articles on my way back to Turku this Sunday, but…

Two guys + a six-pack of beer sat down in the seats next to mine and started talking with a guy seated behind me.

Drunk Guy: We’ve been drinking for four days straight now. I woke up with this cut in my head but it didn’t seem to have caused too much damage so I just thought I’d continue on.

…and yeh, these are not my shoes.

Guy seated behind me: So where are you headed now?

DG: We don’t know (laughing)

Younger Drunk Guy: Where is this train going?

G: Seinäjoki.

DG: Yeah, we got a bit bored with Vasa so we thought; should we take a taxi or a train out of here? I mean, we’ve got the money, we could go anywhere we like, why should we stay in Vasa?!

…Maybe we should go to Holland!!

…Where are you going?

G: Laihia.

DG: Yeah! Let’s go to Laihia!

YDG: No… (a bit hesitant)

DG: No, but we can go out and buy you a beer when we get there!

G: I’m going to work tomorrow, laying some asphalt.

DG: No, but you should come with us!

G: Ah, I’ve got four kids at home that I need to support. But tell you what, I could buy a beer from you right now.

DG: Yeah, let’s drink these now before the conductor comes!

(yelling) watch out you in the back! (opening the beer bottle so that the bottle top flies across the aisle)

The conductor arrives.

Conductor: Tickets…

DG: We’re going to Seinäjoki – one student and one junior ticket.

C: That will be 15 euros.

DG: Do you take Visa??

C: No, we don’t take Visa electron here.

DG: But, what the… How am I going to pay? Could I pay you when we get to Seinäjoki? I promise that I have the money!

C: No, that won’t work. Either you pay cash or I’ll give you a bill.

DG: No no, no bill! Hey (talking to the guy behind me) Can’t I borrow some money from you – I’ll pay you back I swear – I’ve got the money!

G: My boss payed for my ticket, sorry…

The conductor waits for reinforcements while the younger drunk goes to take a piss.

C2: You know you’re not allowed to drink on the train!

DG: But these bottles were open when we got here.

C2: You’ve had three beers since Vasa, don’t you think I’ve been watching you!

(I’m thinking; these guys must have some hidden cameras somewhere or that conductor is just pulling something…)

G: (Trying to be helpful) But I bought one of them!

(they are not the smartest bunch of people!)

C2: So you’re going to Seinäjoki?

DG: One student and one junior.

C2: You know it’s not allowed for minors to drink alcohol!!

*****

The younger drunk comes back from the toilet.

DG: It worked out, I’m going to leave the beer as a deposit when I go and withdraw some money.

YDG: Oh, fine. We’ll leave the beer – you could just leave me as well. I can be the deposit!

DG: OK, and then we’ll go to Tampere to take a piss!!

YDG: No, let’s take a piss in Seinäjoki. We’re in no hurry. Let’s just stay there for a while.

DG: No, we should go to Tampere, to my summer cottage.

YDG: But we’re in no hurry. You go and get the money in Seinäjoki and I go get some more beer.

DG: Yeah. And when you come back you could shout *strange nickname* and I’ll shout *an even stranger nickname* and then…

G: But weren’t you supposed to be the deposit??

DG: So what was it that you do?

G: I lay asphalt. But you know what, if you want to get some money you should go work at an oil rig! They are always looking for new people

YDG: Yeah, and there you don’t have to know one word of Swedish!

DG: But first we’re going to take a train from Seinäjoki. So should we go south or north?

The guy seated behind me gets a call from a friend.

DG: Hey, ask your friend where he thinks we should go!

G:…He says you should go north.

DG: OK, it’s decided, we’ll go to Oulu and when we come back we’ll take a job on an oil rig!

And I’m thinking; how come these guys aren’t already dead!

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How to make a cake

1.tårta

 

 

1. You make a brulé with vanilla and hazel nuts

2. You make chocolate mousse

3. You make a meringue  with cocoa powder and lemon

 

 

2. Chokladtårta

 

 

 

 

4. You put them all together in three beautiful layers

5. You melt chocolate and make a hard chocolate edge around the layers

 

 

 

3. Citrontårta

kanten

tårtkant

 

The result: the most wonderful cake ever – and it doesn’t contain one ounce of flour!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

tårta??

In the process of making one Chocolate-mousse-brulé-meringue pie and two lemon-meringue pies, I kind of sacrificed my Bible on the baking table. You can see it in the middle of the picture underneath my watch. When I tried to wipe off the egg/meringue from its pages it got a hole in Hebrews 4. Luckily there are good records of what it’s supposed to say 🙂

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vad gör man på en båt?

jomen sjunger karaoke såklart!

Genast vi bytte båt i Mariehamn fick jag höra de ljuvliga tonerna av “Dirrlan dirrlan da…” samt “Kultainen nuoruus”.

Jag undrade om svenskar överhuvudtaget sjunger karaoke. En välinformerad kollega svarade att favoritsångerna i vårt grannland är: “Roy och Roger har en mack ihop” och “Teddybjörnen Fredrikson”

Härmed lärde jag mig att vara mer ödmjuk…

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